I go outside yesterday afternoon to water my pretty new tree and see something strange moving through the yard. All snakes send me right into la la land except for the little garter snakes and I find them to be sketchy at best. I just stare as this serpent from hell slowly slithers its way towards me. Then I do what all smart people do, I run into the house and become hysterical. I call my neighbor to "hurry your ass" over here. There is a snake the size of Texas in the backyard. He remains completely calm, the fool. After taking at least 3 minutes to come over, he takes one look and says "oh, thats a Boa Constrictor" A boa? A boa? Excuse me, did I just wake up in another country? Some sweaty jungle where you can die from dysentery. Crap. He tells me to go into the house and call animal control.
I get a hold of the animal control officer and tell her she must come NOW! There is a man-eater in the yard and we are all going to die. (okay I didnt really say that) After taking her forever ( I know it had to be at least 10 minutes) She mosey's up and says "oh, thats a Boa Constrictor" Wow, impressive hearing that twice. Animal control lady figures someone let the critter go when it got too big to handle. I would love to find that "someone" and kick them right in the face.
Now I am a little scared to go into the backyard and work in the flower beds. What if there are Anaconda's back there? Alligators? Grizzly Bears?
Where in the hell is Elmer the Hawk when you really need him? Elmer's no fool, that snake was 10 times his size. The bastard.
5 comments:
I think I would have had a heart attack on the spot, I don't do snakes! That is crazy, they need to run an ad to find out who knows the "owner" of this snake and press serious charges! Keep the bunns inside!!!!
That's terrifying! They don't eat bunnies do they?
Such a sad situation, and all too common with reptiles. I mean, yeah, a boa in a backyard is scary, but most domestic ones that I've met would never hurt anyone. What's sad is, I've actually heard people who get a snake, when I tell them that kind of snake (or lizard) will get huge, say, "Yeah, I know, when it gets too big I'll get rid of it." Now, I don't think most of the people I've heard say that would actually let it go in the city streets (or who knows), but where do they think it's going to go? The ACC has no facilities for reptiles. I know of one rescue in Brooklyn that will take them.
Irresponsible pet "ownership". GRRRRRR. I'd like to stick those people in a cage and watch them "outgrow" it, then stick them outside without any food or water, heat source, you know, to die.
Sorry. I got carried away again.
Christina don't even get me started! I have something going on right now with a kitty that is suppose to have a home but they don't take care of her and she is pregnant. It is a touchy situation. People just befuddle me everyday about their responsibilities to their animals. It breaks my heart.
ok, so I am so way behind reading some of these, but this was HILARIOUS! I have not laughed my fool head off in so long like I did when I read your post...but then...there were the responses! OMG! THAT IS ONE FUN GROUP YOU GOT THERE! I am instantly endeared to this blog!!!!
Can't wait til April 1st next year!
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