My past 10 hours.

I was gonna do a rant and rave when I got home this morning but for the life of me, I cant remember what I was pissed about. The following items are nonbun related but must be told.

I get to work and my regular lab assistant is off. (for those of you who could care less, I am a Histotechnician, that sounds interesting maybe but its not. I cut and prepare tissues for cancer testing. Its mostly prostate, bladders and a big ole testicle once in a while. Yummy)

So the psycho from hell is working. Lets call her Amber. (If I call her by her real name it may be like conjuring a demon) I have a tough time getting along with this woman. She is the nastiest person I know and I tend to pop off, well, rabid tidbits at her. This distresses my co-worker Shawn to no end. Now Shawn is awesome. He is very quiet, very reasonable and level headed and will occasionally shout out really dirty phrases when he is mad about something. Not just a cuss words but really nifty sentences. I adore him.

Shawn brought me a whole box (all for me) of Crispy Creme doughnuts. He knows I love them. The condition was that if he gave them to me, I had to tolerate Amber and not say bad things. "Sigh" What a dilemma. I grabbed up the box of yummies and mumbled a quick promise. Made my way to the coffee pot and hogged up three before the coffee was even done. I was very good all night and did not smite Amber with the jawbone of an ass or throw holy water on her.

Right before I left I splattered a big of pot of paraffin all over me. (that's wax, we embedd the pickles in it. Pickles are the tissues we receive in formalin. I know that is gross right but when you have seen tumors with teeth growing in them nothing grosses you out anymore, I also saw the term used in a really awesome book recently, made me very happy.) That went all over my scrubs.

When you wear scrubs, everyone assumes you are a doctor or a nurse. I get asked those questions all the time. Sometimes I tell the truth and sometimes I lie, depending on my mood. This morning I decided to lie.

I stopped at Panera Bread for my morning coffee and cookie before bed. (I know I had a box doughnuts but deal with it) I really cant stand when gross guys come up and start to groove on me. Especially at 8am after I have worked all night with pickles and a demon, have wax all over my pants and just generally am not in the mood. Here is the conversation:

"You a nurse or something"

"Yes, I am a trauma nurse in the emergency room"

He notices my pants........

"What's all over your pants"

"Brain matter"

"Uh, What did you say"

"You know, brain matter from someones head?"

"Okay, you want to go ahead of me?"

"Yes, thank you, I really need to get home and wash this off".

By the way there is a little grasshopper that has been living in my room the last 2 weeks. I cant seem to catch him to put him outside but I can feel him watching me. Yesterday morning he was sitting on Millie's head. We named him Elmer.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate clowns? That will be a story soon. I have had 2 traumatizing experiences with clowns.

There is a big hole in the back of my mouth where a tooth used to be. I hope it doesn't show up in a tumor.

See Haven was listening.