Grandma says you have "no patience" Mom.

Okay so I am slightly opinionated, occasionally say what I think, and once in a great while I lose my temper a tad Mojo. Yes, sometimes I say things. I am only trying to be helpful. Often times I bite my tongue, okay not often but sometimes. I was raised not to be impolite to elderly people, not to use cuss words in public or in front of little kids. I always try to stick to that but for the rest of the world??????? Well, as mom's co-worker Sean informed her last night when she just gently suggested that he move his butt because we had over 300 prostates: "you can just SUCK IT".

Here are just some examples of things I thought this week but didnt say out loud:

Sean: You can just suck it Christina!

Me: You have a Master's in Biology and thats all you can think of to say?

Old Man eye-balling two youngs girls

Me: Would you like a free prostate biopsy? We can do it right here without anesthesia.

Co-worker Chris: Why dont you talk to me anymore?

Me: Because you are suckin up oxygen someone else could use Barney.

Guy at 7-eleven that had duck heads on his antenna that had the balls to ask me if I "liked his decorations" (yes, actual heads from ducks he shot)

Me: Your mom and dad must have been first cousins.

(what I actually said to him was I thought it was disgusting and disturbing)

My neighbor looking at Dudley: That rabbit is just about the right size for my crockpot.

Me: So are your testicles.

(I didnt really have to say anything, his wife jumped all over him for saying it.)

The man who wanted to: talk with me about the bible and Jesus

Me: I would rather be struck with flesh eating bacteria. ( for the record, I would have thought the same thing if he wanted to talk about Islam, Judaism, Wicca, Hinduism, Buddhism, Satanism or any of the rest of the ism's.)

Man at dinner buffet who needed his 17th glass of soda refilled: Can get these mexicans to do anything.

Me: Why dont you take your keg of soda and wheel barrow full of ribs and taters and go shout that phrase down in Juarez you sorry sack of goo.

See Mojo, I do have some self-control. Frankly since most people dont seem to give a crap what they say, why should I worry myself about it.

By the way, Sean and I are good friends and never really get mad at each other. You will notice Mojo has a funny looking lip. Its a scar she sports from last summer when she had a completely by accident meeting with Millie. Mojo thinks she is a badass too. Millie proved to her there is always someone more badass so I guess I should watch my mouth.

Nah!