Summer, Drought, and Lost in my own head

You have to forgive the quality of the above picture. I took it with my cell phone and it does not take very good pics. The bees wait every morning for me to leave their watering hole. From what I have read they like their water a little funky and the rocks are islands for the ones that fall in the water. I gave them their own birdbath because the creek behind my house is dry. It hasnt been dry in 20 years.

This is a photo taken from Southwest Ok.

I have always hated winter. Its a lonely time. Everything is sleeping and it reminds me of death. The death of my father and the death of my brother. Fall is my favorite time of year, I inhale the smells and it renews me but I carry a dread around with it.....winter will arrive shortly.

I like spring and summer too. Watching the flowers wake up, birds making their babies, the toads that come up on the patio and chow down on the bugs. This spring/summer has been miserable. We have been under a burn ban since June, temps over 100 every day for the last 2 months, no rain and no toads. Everything is the yard is drying up and the animals are struggling. People dying in the heat. Particularly the elderly. Nobody checks on them. It is a crime.

When Haven left, I lost my desire to blog and I am still struggling with it. In march Millie began dragging one of her back legs. We have been to 3 vets, had xrays, tried many different meds and nothing. She is getting around really well and doesnt seem to have any pain. I have to keep reminding myself that she is a bit older and had a history when she adopted me. It frustrates me though. We can get to the moon but they cant fix my girl's leg.

I have been spending far too much time on Facebook. It is the one place I can let it all fly. I wont ever pollute my blog with politics but I can let it rip on FB and have been enjoying it but I must leave it alone for a bit. Its been addicting.

If you noticed I removed a post....its because my blog was "out ted" at work. It doesnt belong there. My co-workers S and T are aware that I was blogging about them but I wasnt comfortable with the nest of vipers having access to my blog. I am still trying to figure out what I want to do. I have been visiting my favorite blogs though, that wont change.

Its coming up on the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. It is something I struggle with every year. I want to blog about it but can never find the words. It is the time that I lost my faith in this country and my belief in god. (and while I appreciate the effort please dont try and convince me otherwise, I am on a journey now) It hurts me and what hurts me more are the callous and flippant remarks I still see and hear about it. "sigh" I am tied to that city in a way I cant describe and I love it and hate it at turns.

I have been able to catch up on my reading this summer. Books are food to me and I lost interest in them for a while. I am getting back to it slowly. Less time on the net and more time reading is what I need. (along with a new camera)

My blog was never meant to be just about bunnies. I find that some folks dont come around when it isnt about bunnies. I am okay with that. The bunnies represent the best parts of my life so I completely get it. But there is good and bad and I will write about the bad when it strikes me. There are 2 bunnies that I want to tell you about and will soon. There are a couple of you that have already met them on FB. (by the way, my blog will never be linked to FB, it is my safe haven and dont want it there)

So we press on. This post is dedicated to the women and babies of Somalia. My heart is with them daily. They are not just an image on the news. They are tied to the same earth and life and death cycle that I am.